Mama mea are vârsta Madonnei. Din câte ştiu nu a scos niciun videoclip în ultima vreme şi nici nu a apărut pe coperta de la Vogue. Nu merge la sală şase ore pe zi, nu are instructor de yoga şi nici stilist. Nu face din frumuseţe un job cu normă întreagă, dar o practică cu succes în fiecare zi.
Să te raportezi la un star, un fashion icon sau un supermodel când vine vorba de frumuseţe este ca şi cum te-ai raporta la Usain Bolt când îţi cronometrezi joggingul de dimineaţă. Nerealist, frustrant şi periculos pentru viaţa ta socială. Pentru că ajungi să confunzi o meserie cu o preocupare. Pentru că îţi asumi benevol presiunea unei imagini pe cât de perfectă, pe atât de iluzorie. Cu toate astea în fiecare week-end în majoritatea cluburilor par să se organizeze preselecţii pentru Miss România sau, după caz, castinguri pentru industria porno. Orice petrecere, de la tăierile de moţ la chefurile de Crăciun, adună mase amorfe de fete şi femei prea ocupate cu propriul aspect pentru a mai da atenție conversației sau, de multe ori, chiar sexului la care par a invita.
Pentru mine frumuseţea profesionistă, de nevastă sau amantă trofeu este valabilă strict în soap-urile din anii ’80, la braţul unui interlop de talie medie sau în stânga unui puber care confundă claxonul cu salutul și accelerația cu declarația. Din experiență pot declara că frumusețea exersată până la rutină devine rutină, plictisește, nu inspiră nici complimente, nici planuri de viitor. O păpuşă, sau popular păpușee, nu oferă nici un reper, nici un indiciu de conversație, timorează și limitează. Copil fiind nu aveam chef să mă joc cu jucăriile scumpe de teamă să le stric și, apoi, să pornesc un scandal. Mai târziu, am văzut cum covoarele imaculate şi canapelele albe de piele sunt evitate de musafiri din frica de a le păta. Şi crede-mă, cineva le va păta.
Frumusețea nu se lucrează, nu se exersează, dar se cultivă, se practică. Este un proces care poate dura ani şi nu are nicio legătură cu magia pusă pe repede-înainte din reality show-urile de genul „Extreme Makeover”. Nu se ajustează la milimetru prin bisturiu, detartraj, implanturi sau machiaje sofisticate. Este un proces de fond, nu de fond de ten. Solul fertil pentru frumuseţe este tot cultura. Dacă nu cea generală, măcar cea vizuală. O poţi obţine răsfoind revistele bune, care sunt, în cazul ideal, echivalentul unei expoziţii de design, fashion şi artă curatoriată de profesionişti îndrăgostiţi de domenii, de oameni care studiază contra cost frumuseţea în manifestările ei subtile zi de zi. Dar nu este suficient. Îţi poţi dezvolta inspiraţia, intuiţia şi înţelegerea propriei frumuseţi la vernisaje de artă contemporană și în săli de cinema unde se proiectează filme obscure, la târguri de vechituri și muzee de design industrial sau, pur şi simplu, pe terasa unei cafenele din Berlin sau Hong Kong, cum fac de altfel programatic toţi designerii cu cotă. Cele mai frumoase femei din viaţa mea lucrează în industriile creative sau îşi cultivă cu consecvenţă simţul estetic, desenează, cară după ele aparate de fotografiat, vânează locuri frumoase şi experienţe pe măsură. Femeile pe care le prețuiesc știu pe de rost mai multe nume de pictori decât de mărci de cosmetice și aleg fără să ezite o cămașă vintage dintr-un teanc de cârpe.
În afara unui sol fertil, frumuseţea mai are nevoie de un climat favorabil. De confort, de chef de viață, de dragoste primită şi acordată. De relaxare, nu de obligaţii. Programul contra cronometru al unei zile care include piscină-job-sală-prânz fără gust-job-cosmetician-shopping-yoga este bun pentru un atlet profesionist, pentru un procent infim din populaţie. Pentru restul lumii poate fi un program toxic care, deşi te tonifiază fizic şi te pregăteşte pentu Olimpiada Estetică de Week-end, te poluează mental cu frustrări. Lucrurile frumoase se întâmplă la fel de bine din joacă, din experiment și experiență, din glumă, din poignet, vorba francezului. Sub presiunea unui standard acceptat şi al unui regim draconic asumat ca să atingi acest standard, vei atinge o frumuseţe asexuală şi tristă de gimnastă sau balerină, valabilă strict pe scenă sau într-un concurs, perisabilă şi inutilă până la urmă în context social. Îmi place frumuseţea moale şi înţeleaptă a tinerelor mame, ochii care devin adânci fără să mai aibă nevoie de rimel sau mascara. Îmi place frumusețea trash-indie a puștoaicelor preocupate 100% din timp să scoată limba in fata Sistemului. Aș putea să scriu romane despre seducţia doamnelor de 40 ani care au văzut multe și și-au rezervat timpul să le înțeleagă și să le accepte.
Frumusețea cultivată just şi răbdător are nevoie de un public pe măsură. Eroarea cea mai mare a unui bucătar, scuzată fie-mi comparaţia, este să încerce să mulţumească pe toată lumea, pentru că, nu-i aşa, nu vei convinge un dependent de mici cu o salată de ţelină şi nuci. Coco Chanel sau Audrey Hepburn ar trece probabil neobservate într-o discotecă din Predeal. Şi este bine că este aşa. Dacă nu primeşti complimentele meritate, nu trebuie neapărat să-ţi schimbi tunsoarea sau garderoba. Uneori este mai logic să-ţi schimbi anturajul sau, dacă ai timp suficient, să-l educi.
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